So this is how it is

Right now I’m chilling at the Park’s. Literally. Its beautiful. I remember one of the numerous reasons I came here. Fall time: Windows open, a nice cool breeze flowing through the entire house, the smell of coffee and peach oatmeal in my belly. What could be better. My favorite time of the day is the morning. Just before the rest of the world wakes up, you glance out your window and see the flowers waking up with you. Sitting on a porch with a hot cup of coffee, my favorite morning past time. Relaxing and taking the time to soak up God’s creation.

I came here to revive my relationship with God. Here I can let go of my worries of my old daily life weighing me down. Call me a run-away if you must. I call it following what God wants of me. At least that’s what I said before I came here. I felt as if this was without a doubt what God wanted me to do. This was my calling. I am to listen and follow, right? Well here I am. I have no house. No job. No family and no close friends. I have the Park family. I love them all so very much. For them to offer me a place to stay until my place is ready makes me feel in debt to them. I owe them very much for all they have done for me. Mary, the one friend I have here other than Miriam. She pulls me out of my shell. The one I tend to bury myself in when I feel alone. The one that I find easier to slip into as each minute passes by. She has been a wonderful friend and I know with time we will be very close friends.

Through Miriam and Mary, this is the hardest thing I have ever done. I left everyone I know behind. I have realized just how important each of my friends back home has meant to me. being able to call them and talk with them brings a wave of familiarity and comfortablity. How I miss my daily routine, the thing that dragged me down. I longed for something new, something exciting. And now I have it, and am miserable. I know as time moves on and I get my place set up I will feel more at home, more myself. Until then I hope I do not bury myself in a deep pit. I have climbed out many of those and do not care to do it once again.

Even though I am not as happy as I wish, I still know, deep down, this is where God has me. This is where I am supposed to be. I can feel something great coming. Whether it simply be that I grow as I should and become the godly woman I am supposed to be, the one that God wants me to be.