All Growed Up?

Looking back to what life used to be for me is exhausting. There are so many aspects to life. How anyone tries to sum it up, I don't know.

Its been just over a year since I've moved. Reality settles in. Kansas is no longer my home nor is it the place my heart longs to be anymore. I am glad for this change, and also very sad. I wish many of my family and friends could come here with me. I am so used to them being apart of my daily life. They always knew what was going on and were involved in my life. Now those relationships are long distance. That term is no longer just a distance for me, it stands for a summed up life. I no longer share a common knowledge of my life with anyone from home. Its always just a worded explanation, which never full grasps what is really going on. I cannot explain a person and who they are in the personality or their characteristics, its all just generalized bits and pieces. It's sometimes heart breaking that I don't share my life with my dad, my nephew, my best friends. But when I stop focusing on what could be and focus on what is, my heart is lifted.

I have never felt more joy in my life. This past year I have grown so close to God, so much more than I ever imagined. I know with the years to come that relationship I have with Him will increase even more so. In ways I find a complete peace knowing that I will never fully know God, it gives me something to aim for, to get as close as I can get but know that I will always be learning and growing.

I would have never imagined I would be getting married. Maybe in a couple years, with a minimum of 3! Many from home think its too soon and that I'm making a bad decision. The thing I love, God's timing is so much more different than our own. If God told me to marry Zechariah within two days of meeting him, you bet I would have! There are so many aspects to a relationship. Another one of those things you cannot sum up with words. Slowly I am seeing what it really means to be joined, two become one. I am seeing that I am better when I have Zech, whether it be that I've talked to him on the phone or seen him. I feel more on track, more myself. I know now what Genesis means when it said Adam was not complete.

As the days pass, and as the months fly by with the years following, I rest in the promise the God will always be there. He will be the source of all the joy, He will be the comforter in all sadness and heartaches, He will be the one to carry us along the way. I am anxious to see what it will be, but am anxious for time to slow so I may enjoy the times now.