Marriage

Apparently when I go absent for awhile, I go post crazy to make up for it.

I was listening to the radio (Air1) the other day. One of the DJ's was asking by her mother in law if she knew 3 couples that she could say "I want my marriage to be like theirs".

Her answer was no. Then they had callers call in. I wasn't able to listen to the full segment, but all of the callers that I heard always said no. There was maybe 1 couple, but never three. One had even stated that she had 1 that she looked up to, but then a couple months ago they got a divorce.

This got me thinking. Is there really that many people out there who didn't have good marriage examples? From a secular and worldly view, yes I completely understand that. But this was a Christian radio station, where Christians were the ones calling in!

Then I thought "Can I name 3 couples that I'd want to base my marriage off of?" At first I was like Of course I can! But the more I thought about it, I wasn't so sure. There are plenty of married couples in my church that have been married for a long time and from my view, they have a wonderful marriage. But if I'm aiming to look up to them as an example, I need to have seen them in a one-on-one way, not just acquaintances at church. So that quickly through out a bunch on my list. (I did eventually come up with 3 couples).

So...what makes a couple "role-model" worthy? For me, multiple things. A few key points:

1. Does each spouse make their other spouse more important them him/her? Getting over ones self is hard but, at the core, a characteristic of true love.

2. Do they argue like high schoolers? There is nothing more disheartening (in my opinon) than to see two people going back and forth like children, not even arguing about what the issue started off as. Sadly, this is too easy to do. Luckily for Zech and I, we are still newly married enough to laugh it off and get back to the real problem. But too many times have I seen people not be able to swallow their pride, just enough to work something out.

3. Do they communicate their problems more with each other than with you? Asking for advice in a certain situation is ok, but when a friend comes to me and complains about what their are mad about and what annoys them about their significant other...well, I think it breeds a small dose of resentment.

4. Is God number one in both their lives, and not just his life and her life? As a couple I feel it's important to be a team and be "one" with each other. Especially with their relationship with God. There is nothing specific I can list as an example, but there is something you see, something supernatural that you see between a husband and wife that serve God together, not just individually.

Browsing the web, there are too many lists on "50 things to make your husband happy", "10 things to make your marriage work". Not to say that those lists are wrong,  most of them have good ideas. But if we, as a nation, are using them as a foundation for marriage...well then we are bound to fail.

**This post is not for me to tell you how to run your marriage or what you need. It's merely what my opinion is on the matter and what I personally look for.